Justified vs. Effective Behavior

Once I understood that these are often two different paths, I began to notice the divergent consequences of each.

“Justified” action is an euphemism for egocentric behavior. “Effective” action delivers the desired outcome without anointing winners and losers.

Criticizing, retaliating, and raging may seem like deserved reactions, but they ultimately create conflicts that detract from the problem at hand.

Forgiving, compromising, and empathizing strengthens relationships instead of weakening them. Harder to do, because it involves acting rational while feeling emotional. But most of the time, I think, everyone ends up happier in the end.